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That night, Miharu had a dream.
With bleary awareness, she vaguely wondered where she was and what time it was. The sensation felt like one she had experienced just recently.
This is...
Right... This was a dream.
Contrary to Miharu’s bleary awareness, she was certain she could feel her mind stirring awake. Right now, in front of Miharu, a familiar boy and girl stood facing each other. Of course they would be familiar: the two were childhood friends, and the girl was Miharu herself. The boy was, of course, Amakawa Haruto.
Miharu watched her young self face Haruto in a daze.
This was when Haru-kun and I parted ways...
Miharu dug through her memories to identify the scene that was playing out in her dream. There was no mistaking it — the dream she was seeing now was a reenactment of a memory.
It had been one summer day. The sun’s rays scattered over them as the dream Miharu cried while desperately clinging to Haruto.
“Don’t go, Haru-kun!”
“Don’t cry, Mii-chan. We’ll meet again, okay?” In contrast to the bawling Miharu, Haruto was gallantly trying to cheer her up. It was so vexing and saddening to see, Miharu’s face fell into an expression of pain.
“I’ll come get you when we’re bigger! We’ll get married! That way... we’ll always be together, I’ll always be beside you, and I can protect Mii-chan with my life!” Haruto declared to Miharu, earnest and desperate.
“Yes... yes! I want to marry Haru-kun!” The young Miharu’s eyes sparkled fiercely as she hugged Haruto. It was a tender and fleeting promise made in their youth, with no binding power at all, but that was precisely why it felt so bright and precious to Miharu.
Mm...
Miharu couldn’t help the tears that welled in her eyes as she watched the scene. There had been no sadder day in her entire life than this one... And yet, at the same time, there hadn’t been a happier day, either.
That was why Miharu swore to be stronger and optimistic from that day onwards. As she grew older, the nature of her feelings changed, but the young Miharu blindly believed that one day Haruto would come to get her...
Huh?
The scene Miharu was looking at suddenly changed, like someone had switched television channels. Miharu’s eyes widened as she blinked. It was though she was looking at a collection of scenes in a compilation. Miharu wasn’t there, but Haruto was.
In the changing scenes that went by, Haruto was working his hardest in a variety of things. Studying, housework, farming, martial arts — he worked earnestly at all of them.
With that routine, Haruto slowly grew older bit by bit, and at some point, he reached the same age as the current Miharu. He was bowing his head at his father, asking to attend the same high school where he had once lived with Miharu.
Maybe... Maybe he remembered his promise with me?Miharu couldn’t help but wonder. Then, the scene changed once again.
This is... the high school I’m going to...?
Miharu gazed in shocked wonder at the new scenery before her. To her great surprise, the dream Haruto was standing there wearing the same school uniform as Miharu.
“...” On the campus with dancing sakura petals, Haruto was simply standing still, and his gaze was directed straight ahead of him. Miharu was lured into looking the same way.
Then, standing there —Oh...!— was Miharu.
Aki’s stepbrother — Sendo Takahisa — had called out to her, so the two of them were talking with familiarity.
This was during the entrance ceremony...Miharu was able to place the exact moment she was witnessing. Yes, there was no mistaking it — this happened on the day of the entrance ceremony. While it felt like many days had passed since then, it wasn’t actually that long ago, so her memories were still fresh. More than anything, that afternoon was the day she had wandered into this world, so the entrance ceremony was the only day Miharu wore her high school uniform.
Is this... really a dream?Miharu felt a strange sense of reality as the blood drained out of her face. Then, the dream Haruto who had been watching Miharu and Takahisa talk animatedly paused, before showing a small, sad smile.
Eh, ah...Perhaps what Haruto saw just now made him misunderstand Miharu and Takahisa’s relationship, making him think they were dating. No... but even if he didn’t misunderstand, the possibility could have risen in his head. Then, out of fear to confirm that—
Ah, w-wait!
Haruto turned on his heel. Miharu tried to call out to him, but her mouth wouldn’t move and the words didn’t come out. Even if she could think within this dream, she wasn’t able to interfere with the people that appeared. With no other choice, Miharu hurriedly followed after Haruto.
No, Haru-kun — wait, please!
Miharu desperately tried to cling to Haruto, but she wasn’t able to touch him. Haruto had a sad and uneasy smile on his face.
Seeing his side profile made Miharu’s chest tighten in pain. Then, the scene of the dream changed once again.
?!
This time, she saw inside the school building. Haruto was walking down the corridor, heading towards a certain classroom. Just how much time had passed since then?
“Is Ayase Miharu here yet?” Haruto asked some girls standing near the doorway of the classroom.
“Ah, umm. Ayase?” A quiet girl standing closest to the door looked frightened at suddenly being addressed.
“Ah, isn’t she the one who went absent without leave? You know, along with Sendo...” said a different girl.
“Absent without leave? But she was here for the entrance ceremony yesterday, right?” Haruto asked curiously.
“Right! There were rumors about that during the first break today. There has to be some deeper meaning to the two of them both going missing on the second day of school! The teacher didn’t know why either, so people were saying they must have eloped. Right?” One of the girls seemed to like gossiping, as she answered the question happily. In contrast, Haruto’s expression fell.
“I see... Thank you very much. Excuse me.”
“Ah, wait! What class are you fro... Hey!”
But Haruto left immediately. The girls tried to call out to him, but he wouldn’t stop for anyone.
Is this dream... what happened after I disappeared?Miharu thought, her face twitching. She felt a cold chill run down her spine. If that were the case, she was scared to imagine the future.
No... She didn’t want to see it. She didn’t want to see anything ahead of this. She was scared.
An indescribable fear ran through Miharu, making her want to flee... But she couldn’t. Even if she was scared, she had to see it. She didn’t have to say anything, at least; her existence wouldn’t be noticed. Even if this was in her dreams, she still wanted to stay by Haruto’s side, so Miharu resolved herself to watch to the end.
Time in the dream world continued ruthlessly. Before she knew it, dream-Haruto was attending university. He was saving a crying elementary school girl who had missed her bus stop, on his way home from campus himself.
...Huh?Miharu felt a strange sense of deja vu at the scene. If she recalled correctly, just recently —
Latifa said...
It was what had happened in Latifa’s past life. She had been an elementary school student who missed her bus stop on a rainy day, when Haruto saved her while she was crying.
It’s... raining...
It was pouring rain, Miharu confirmed.
Then this is one before...?
The two of them would die — Miharu remembered that and paled.
The next moment, the scene changed again. They were still on the bus, but Haruto’s outfit had changed.
?!
Haruto was swaying to the bus’ movements as he idly stared out the window. However, he suddenly noticed something and looked to his right rear. The elementary school girl Haruto had saved was sitting there.
“...?!” The elementary school girl had been staring fixedly at Haruto, but averted her eyes when she noticed him looking back. Haruto tilted his head with an unconvinced look. Miharu had been watching in a daze, but snapped out of it and reached for Haruto.
No, no, no, at this rate... no...!
But in the very next moment, the bus shook violently.
Haru-kun!
Miharu tried to hug Haruto’s body in a panic, but his body lightly flew through the air, hitting the roof of the bus.
The cause was a traffic accident from ignoring a red traffic light — the bus had been going through the green light when a truck suddenly collided from the left rear. The truck tried to avoid the bus by immediately turning the handle to the right, but it crashed into the left rear of the bus and sent it toppling over. The rear end of the bus was smashed to pieces — destroyed to the point where anyone sitting there would not have made it.
Ah, ah, aah...
Miharu was standing outside of the bus before she knew it, watching the tragic remains of the accident in a daze. She could hear the screams of the witnesses around the scene.
No... no no no noooo!
Unable to bear it, Miharu screamed in her dream.
“?!” Miharu woke up. The moment she did, she could feel her heart thumping and her lungs gasping for breath. “Hah, hah, hah...”
Her pajamas were soaked with sweat, and her heart was beating loudly enough to tear her chest open. Her body was so cold, it didn’t feel like she was alive. She couldn’t stop trembling.
“That... was a dream, right?” Miharu whispered.
Yes, a dream. It had to have been a dream.
It was just too tragic to be real.
Something like that was just— it was just—
Haruto— Haruto isn’t Haru-kun, right? It can’t be, it can’t, it can’t...Miharu said to convince herself, but her intuition was stating otherwise. It was so horrible, so sad; tears were streaming from her face before she knew it.
“Miharu.”
Aishia’s voice echoed in her ear from close by.
“Wha— A-Ai-chan...?! Why are you in my room...?” Miharu’s body shook as she answered. At some point, Aishia had appeared beside her.
“Do you want to forget the dream you just had, Miharu?” Aishia suddenly asked.
“...What— What are you saying, Ai-chan?” Miharu grimaced.
"Az önceki rüyayı unutmak istiyorsan, bunu senin için yapabilirim. Bir sonraki uykundan uyandığında rüyana dair tek bir hatıran bile kalmaz. Ama unutmak istemiyorsan, uyandığında her şeyi hatırlıyor olacaksın," diyerek sakince açıkladı Aishia. "Hangisini tercih edersin?"
"H-Hangisini mi..." Miharu’nun yüzü ağlamaklı bir hal aldı. Kızın ne demek istediğini kavrayamıyordu. Belki de tüm bunlar başka bir rüyanın parçasıydı. Miharu’nun zihni o kadar karışmıştı ki neler olup bittiğinden bir türlü emin olamıyordu.
Aishia sözlerine devam etti: "Şu an Haruto kalbinin kapılarını dış dünyaya kapattı. Onun için artık geri dönüş yok, bu yüzden de değer verdiği insanları kendi işlerine alet etmek istemiyor. Böyle giderse, Haruto bir gün tam da o insanlara veda edecek. Miharu... Sen de o insanların arasındasın. Haruto işte bu yüzden seninle arasına mesafe koymaya çalışıyor."
"..." Miharu’nun içindeki fırtınalar koptu, yüzündeki panik her halinden okunuyordu.
"Ama henüz çok geç değil. Çünkü Haruto’nun düşünce tarzı yanlış... Geri dönemeyeceği bir yola girdiği doğru olabilir. Ancak Haruto’yu kendi isteğinle takip etmek istersen, bu senin özgür iradene kalmış." Aishia bunu söylediğinde, Miharu derin bir nefes alarak hafifçe rahatladı.
"Bu yüzden, eğer Haruto’nun yanında kalmayı canı gönüsten istiyorsan kaçma. Karşısında dimdik dur ve iradeni ona güçlü bir şekilde göster." Aishia gözlerini dikmiş, doğrudan Miharu’ya bakıyordu.
"Tamam." Miharu farkına bile varmadan başıyla onayladı.
"Fakat Haruto’ya iradeni beyan etmeden önce bilmen gereken bir şey vardı. O da az önce gördüğün rüyaydı. Eğer gelecekte Haruto’nun yanında kalmak istersen, o rüyayı görürken hissettiklerinden çok daha beterini hissedeceksin. Haruto öyle bir yolda ilerliyor ki... İşte bu yüzden bunları bilmen gerekiyordu. Eğer tüm bunlara rağmen onunla olmaman gerektiğini, ondan uzak durmanın senin için daha iyi olacağını düşünüyorsan... Üzgünüm, bugün Haruto ile olan konuşmanı ben böldüm."
Miharu kaşlarını çattı, yüzünde kederli bir ifade belirdi. "Neyi... Neleri biliyorsun Aishia-chan?"
Aishia, hafif hüzünlü ama sıcak bir tebessümle başını iki yana salladı. "Ben sadece Haruto’yu bilirim."
"..." Miharu sessiz kaldı; ne cevap vereceğini bilemiyordu. Aishia’nın o ifadeyi takınırken neler hissettiğine dair en ufak bir fikri yoktu.
Aishia sakince sordu: "Sen karar ver Miharu. O rüyayı gördükten sonra bile hâlâ Haruto’nun yanında olmak istiyor musun?"
"Ah..." Miharu yutkunarak duraksadı.
"Çok uzak olmayan bir gelecekte, Haruto sana gerçekleri anlatmaya gelecek. Fırsatın işte o zaman doğacak. Eğer Haruto’nun yanında kalmak istiyorsan kaçamazsın. Ne şimdi ne de o zaman..." Aishia elini uzatıp Miharu’nun yanağını şefkatle okşadı.
Soğuktu... Hiç vücut ısısı olmayan bir eldi bu. Ama yine de, nedendir bilinmez...
...Sıcacıktı. Miharu’nun içi bir şekilde huzur veren sıcak bir duyguyla doldu.
"Hey, Aishia-chan. Bekle." Miharu, Aishia’nın elini sıkıca kavradı. Gözlerinde artık en ufak bir tereddüt kırıntısı yoktu.
"Ben... Ben... Haru-kun ile birlikte olmak istiyorum," dedi sarsılmaz bir kararlılıkla. Ama o anda üzerine tarifsiz bir uyku hali çöktü.
Aishia’nın dudakları zarif bir gülümsemeyle kıvrıldı ve son sözlerini fısıldadı: "...Anladım. Her şey yoluna girecek, ben buradayım. İyi uykular Miharu."
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