Chapter 1: My Friend’s Little Sister Wants to Spook Me!

[AI CENSORSHIP BLOCKED THIS CHUNK - RAW ENGLISH RETAINED]

Sumire:Thank you for the wonderful evening last night.

AKI:Think before you send a message that can be misinterpreted.

Sumire:One night of passion, and you think you’re king of the bedroom? Funny, since I was totally dominating you last night.

Sumire:We’re in a serious relationship now, you know. I need to make sure you can take it.

Sumire:I can picture it now. We go out to buy me a swimsuit, and you’re so excited that you’re panting like a dog.

Sumire:Hello?

System:Your message could not be delivered to the recipient.

OZ:Murasaki Shikibu-sensei just sent me this:

OZ:HELP! AKI BLOCKED ME!

AKI:Ugh. Sorry for the trouble.

AKI:Send me any more harassment, and I’m sending screenshots to the cops.

Sumire:It’s not harassment! I’m trying to talk to you like we’re a real couple!

Sumire:I was gonna send the screenshots to my family to show them how in love we are!

Sumire:With these receipts, they’ll never know we’re just pretending!

AKI:So that’s why you’re not messaging me from your Murasaki Shikibu-sensei account?

Sumire:You got it. This is the account I use with my family.

AKI:Just don’t do anything stupid, okay? You go too far with this and we’re gonna have a ton of extra hoops to jump through.

Sumire:Don’t worry! I got this! Just reply to me like we’re all over each other!

I was exchanging an endless, troublesome stream of LIME messages with Sumire after school that day. As usual, I was taking the shortest and quickest route home. It was that gross humid time between the rainy season and midsummer. The sun was scorching, and an uncomfortable sweat was clinging to my skin. Sumire’s constant sexual harassment and tiresome pleading just made it all the more depressing.

I know what I said about marrying her in exchange for quicker drawings, but if I had to keep sending flirty messages just to keep up the pretense, maybe it was more trouble than it was worth. It wasn’t just texts either. Sumire and I were going swimsuit shopping after this as part of the whole charade. Summer vacation started in two days, and Sumire was promising me a wonderful series of dates where we’d take the loveliest pictures together.

So by the time I reached my apartment building, I was already knee-deep in despair.

My phone vibrated yet again. I wanted to set it to mute, but then I realized it wasn’t Sumire this time.

Mashiro:Let’s have lots of fun during summer vacation ♡

Mashiro:Just be careful of heat stroke, okay? Drink lots, but make sure you have enough salt too.

Mashiro:And get plenty of sleep, even though it’s yucky and hot! I want you to take care of yourself ♡

Are you supposed to be my girlfriend or my wife? Or even my mother?

Mashiro’s onslaught of smothering messages was just making me more depressed. Ever since I rejected her, she really was taking the girlfriend thing way too seriously. I mean, sure, I was a guy just like any other. Having an objectively beautiful girl like her sending me messages like this made mekind ofhappy. I just couldn’t afford to get carried away right now; there was too much stuff I had to do.

I was fully focused on my one goal in life at the moment: to get every member of the 05th Floor Alliance, which created the mobile gameKoyagi: When They Cry, an unconditional job offer at Honeyplace Works. Each member, whether because of their household, personality, or environment, was currently unable to make full use of their talent. I was going to get them a job at one of the largest companies in the industry to make sure that talent didn’t go to waste.

I would do anything to make that happen in the quickest and most efficient way. That was why I couldn’t afford to get sidetracked by the temporary pleasures that youth and high school threw my way.

I sent Mashiro a quick reply along the lines of “will do” before heading into my apartment, room 502.

“Huh?”

There was a familiar pair of loafers in the entranceway, but they weren’t mine.

“She’s hereagain?”

The stifling weather already put me in a bad mood and now I had to deal with a stifling personality too. Everyone around me loved to do whatever the hell they wanted without a thought for others. And by others, I mean me.

Whatever. I just wanted to have a shower and change out of my uniform into something cooler. If she was here already, she probably switched on the air conditioner in my room, which I guess was something. I pulled off my shoes and headed to my bedroom. I turned the knob.

“Huh? It’s locked?”

“Oh, Senpai! Is that you?” an overly-innocent voice asked from the other side of the door.

So itwasher. I couldn’t say I was surprised. Everyone else I knew was too polite for this kind of ruffian behavior. It was, of course, Ozu’s younger sister, and the phantom member of the 05th Floor Alliance. Every now and again she made me pause and think that maybe, just maybe, there was an inkling of goodness inside her. Deep, deep inside her. But mostly, she was the dictionary definition of troublesome.

Ladies and gentlemen, my friend’s little sister, Kohinata Iroha.

“Open the door.”

“Just gimme half a sec, okay?! I’m getting changed!”

“In someone else’s room?”

“Why does it matter? Y’know that having a high school girl gettin’ changed in your room makes it, like, twice as valuable? I’m doing this for you!”

“That makes zero sense. You should’ve just gotten changed at your place before coming over.”

“What? There’s no way I could walk down the corridor like this! Unless that’s exactly what you want, you perv!”

“What are you talking about? What the hell are you wearing?!”

If it wasn’t something she could be seen in public wearing, then this could get dangerous.

“Duh! It’s summer! Whaddyathink?”

“Just tell me!”

“You know! They just came out with the new one, so I thought I’d try it!”

“New what?!”

Honestly, I knew exactly what she was talking about. I could already picture it.

A golden beach. The sun beating down on a scene of gentle waves, and shrill laughter riding on the wind. Iroha, running towards me and waving, leaving small footprints in the sand behind her. The other visitors to the beach, male and female alike, staring at her beautiful skin, only a small part of it hidden by her bikini.

The thin material of her bikini top doing all it could to hold her round boobs, and her long, smooth legs topped with what was barely thicker than a string. She was like a mermaid with legs come to life, or even—actually what was I picturing? This wasn’t the time for delusions!

It really isn’t normal to put on a bikini in someone else’s house, right?

As a bastion of justice and purity, and a man with a heart of steel, I managed to cut my imagination off mid-vision, and now I was done having any kinky thoughts. I hoped she counted herself lucky, because I’ve seen women try this stuff in a certain flavor of manga and get jumped on in the second panel.

“I’m done! You can come in now!”

Finally, permission to go into my own room. I heard the door unlock from the other side. Gulp. All I needed to do was open the door and step inside. Just a moment ago, this door was like a slab of iron, but suddenly it seemed thin as paper. If I opened the door now, I’d see Iroha there in her swimsuit. I wasn’t sure I could handle it.

Hold on a second. Why was I worrying so much about the boiling hot living room, the sticky sweat clinging to my uniform, or how I wanted to change into something clean? I totally could’ve just switched on the air conditioner in the living room! That’d make everything more bearable. I didn’t have to play her games.

Hold on again! This wasmyroom!

I knew just what to do. I’d close my eyes, ignore Iroha in whatever state she was in, take the shortest route to the closet, grab a towel and a change of clothes, then leave and go take a nice bath. Easy. I took a deep breath and opened the door.

“Revenge...”

“Gah!”

Wh-What was that?!

The moment I opened the door, a girl in a white robe barreled into my chest. The cool air in the room made my skin prickle. There was a strange clattering noise as the girl on my chest looked up at me. It was only now that I noticed the triangle of white paper plastered to her forehead. Her face was pale and her eyes were sunken in. Crimson blood dribbled from her mouth.

This zombie was clinging to my chest. A shiver raced up my spine. In a few seconds, her curse would kill me. I saw my life, memories, and regrets flashing before my eyes. How did this happen? Wasn’t there supposed to be a hot babe in a bikini on the other side of my door?

If only I’d lived a more efficient life,I found myself wishing,and had time to experience even more.

I always wanted to travel. To play the games I told myself were a waste of time, and to watch those movies that caught my interest. I would never get to see how this season’s anime would end, nor play the remake of that game I loved so much in elementary school.

More than anything else, I wish I could’ve gotten at least ten more drawings out of Murasaki Shikibu-sensei. Then the team would have everything they needed to see Makigai Namako-sensei’s fifth scenario through to the end, and even without me, maybe they could finish... Is it just me, or is this inner monologue going on a bit too long? Why aren’t I dead yet?

I cautiously opened my eyes. I realized the hands on my chest were warm.

“Oh my God! You were seriously terrified, weren’t you? That’s adorable!” The ghost spluttered with laughter.

“Wait, Iroha?!”