Chapter 13:The Young Miss’s Resolution

[AI CENSORSHIP BLOCKED THIS CHUNK - RAW ENGLISH RETAINED]

By the time the meeting ended, the sun had already set. I returned to my room. It was furnished with only the barest of essentials, and my luggage was strewn across it. While I recognized the need to tidy up, I felt no motivation to do so. Instead, I sat on my bed. My body sank into the hard mattress. I seemed to be more exhausted than I thought I was.

“Phew…”

Not that I’d done anything particularly exhausting today. Still, the fatigue clung fast to my body. Perhaps this was what people called mental exhaustion? No, that wasn’t it. I’d just received a huge shock.

Sauros, Phillip and Hilda—I’d never had a particularly intimate conversation with any of them. Still, when I closed my eyes, I remembered going out for a long ride with Sauros, inspecting the region’s crops while he asked about how Eris was doing. I remembered Philip with that awful smile on his face as he proposed we take over the Boreas household together. I remembered how Hilda begged me to marry her daughter and become a part of their family.

They were all gone now. Not even their house remained. That vast manor, through which booming voices had echoed, was gone. The reception hall where Eris and I had danced, the tower where the old man had his trysts, the library piled with documentation relating to the region…it was all just gone.

It wasn’t just the manor, either. Buena Village was gone, too; not that I’d gone to see for myself. The tree in our garden that Zenith treasured so much, the ones that were charred by lightning when Roxy was teaching me Saint-tier water magic, and the large tree that Sylphie and I had played under…all of those were gone, too.

Wait…why were trees the only thing that came to mind when I tried to remember Buena Village? Well, whatever. It was all gone. I’d understood that logically after Paul told me as much, but seeing it in person was a bigger shock than I thought it would be.

“Phew…”

Just as I let out another sigh, a loud banging came upon my door.

“Come on in.” I bade them enter.

It was Eris. “Evening, Rudeus.”

“Eris, are you all right now?”

“I’m fine,” she said as she came to stand before me, taking up her usual pose. She didn’t look depressed at all. Impressive as ever. Her family had been completely wiped out and she was still far stronger than I was. Actually, she usually wouldn’t even knock, just bust the door open with her foot. Perhaps shewasdepressed.

“Well, I figured this was how things would end up.”

“Oh really…?”

Eris spoke as if it didn’t bother her at all. Like she said before, it seemed she’d prepared herself for this. Specifically, for the possibility of her family being dead. I couldn’t bring myself to do the same. Even now, not knowing where Zenith was, I had to believe she was alive. It was much more likely that she was dead, and I understood that intellectually, but couldn’t bring myself to accept it.

“Eris, what are you going to do after this?”

“What do you mean?”

“Um, you heard about things from Mister Alphonse, right?”

“I did. But who cares about all that?”

“‘Who cares’…?” I echoed back.

Eris was looking straight at me. Suddenly I realized—albeit a little late—that her outfit was different. She was clad in the black one-piece that she hadn’t worn once since she bought it back in Millishion. It matched so well with her red hair that it looked almost like a dress. I could see her breasts pushing through the thin material.

Huh? She’s not wearing a bra, then?Upon closer inspection, I realized her hair was a bit damp. I could smell soap too, something I only ever noticed right after she bathed. And it wasn’t just that. Normally, Eris didn’t have a particular smell to her, but I was catching a faint, sweet fragrance now. Perfume?

“Rudeus, I’m alone now.”

Alone—that was true. She had no family. She had brothers related to her by blood, but they weren’t family.

“And besides that, I recently turned fifteen.”

The moment I heard her sayfifteen,I panicked. When? When had her birthday passed? Mine was just a month or two away, which meant hers must have been about a month ago. I didn’t even realize.

“Um, sorry for not remembering.”

Which day had been her birthday? I couldn’t remember her even dropping a hint about it. I would’ve thought Eris would make a lot of fuss over turning fifteen. Had there really been nothing? No day when she’d said something to indicate that it was her birthday?

“You may not have realized it, but it was the day that Ruijerd told me I was an adult.”

“Ahh.” So that was it. It all made sense now.

This sucks. I seriously didn’t notice, I thought.

“Uhhh, should I get something for you? Is there anything you want?”

“Yes, there’s one thing I want,” she said.

“What’s that?”

“A family.”

I was at a loss for words when she said that. That wasn’t something I could give her. I couldn’t bring people back to life.

“Rudeus, become my family.”

“Huh?” When I suddenly looked at her, I could tell that despite how dark the room had grown, her face was bright red. Was this…well, you know…a proposal? “You mean like brother and sister?”

“I don’t care what you want to call it.” She was red all the way up to her ears, but she still wouldn’t turn her gaze away. “S-so, basically, what I’m saying is, um…let’s sleep together.”

I had no idea what she was talking about, believe me!

Just calm down and let’s think about the meaning of her words, I told myself. I could surmise, based on her proposal that we should sleep together, that she was shocked by everything that had happened, too. She probably wanted to be with me to heal the wounds inflicted on her heart.

A family. Or in this case, a pretend family, I suppose?

But…

“I’m feeling kind of lonely today, so I might end up doing something perverted to you.”

To be honest, I had no confidence in myself. I mean, I wasn’t confident that I could get into bed with her, feel the heat of her body, and still be able to hold myself back. Even Eris should’ve understood that much. And yet…

“Y-you can do it today.”

“I already told you before, it’s not going to be just ‘a little bit’ if I do it,” I warned.

“I remember. And I’m saying that you can have your way with me.”

After hearing her reply, I stared fixedly at Eris’ face.What the heck are you saying?I found myself thinking. I mean, come on. After being told that, my little man was now having his own little standing ovation.

“Wh-why are you suddenly saying all of this?” I asked.

“I promised you we would when I turned fifteen, right?”

“That was whenIturned fifteen, right?”

“I don’t mind either way,” she said.

“Idomind.”

This was weird. Something was weird. Come on, think, what was it that was weird? Oh, I got it! In other words, Eris was feeling desolate. So perhaps she was being self-destructive. I’d seen scenes like this numerous times in erotic games. People comforted each other to cope when they lost someone. And by comfort, I mean locked their bodies together physically. Okay, yep, I got it.

Still, what did that say about me if I put my hands on her in this kind of situation? It was almost like I was taking advantage of her when she was weak. Of course, Iwantedto do it, okay? The worst part of me was rejoicing:let’s throw away our virginity!

But wasn’t that something I should do under more normal circumstances? We were both in pain, and if we let ourselves be caught up in the moment, we would regret it later, I was sure.

Ahh, but I might not get another chance with her giving me permission like this. If she suddenly decided to go off and be with Pilemon, our promise would go out the window.

No, forget that. I really didn’t want Eris’ first time to be stolen by someone else. I wanted to do it. I did. But I had a feeling we shouldn’t.

I’d made fun of all the indecisive protagonists of harem stories before. I’d called them cowards who couldn’t pluck up the courage when it was necessary. And now that it was actually my turn to be in the same situation, I was the one hesitating.

What was I supposed to do? Whatever I decided, I felt like I’d regret it later. I would only stop regretting it two years from now when, on my fifteenth birthday, Eris would present herself with a ribbon wrapped around her body. “Here’s your birthday present. Since I might accidentally punch you, I tied my hands up too. Feel free to do what you want to me,” she would say as she sat atop my bed.

Ahh, no. Wait. I’d almost died recently. In what I’d thought were my final moments of life, I’d been full of regret. There were still things I wanted to do, and no guarantee that something similar wouldn’t happen in the two years that remained before my fifteenth birthday. It wasn’t like I could narrowly escape death forever. Maybe I should get rid of my virginity right now, before any similar troubles arose in the future?

No, but, wait a sec…

“Jeez!”

Eris must’ve been frustrated at my indecision. She cleared her throat and then softly sat herself upon my lap. She positioned herself sideways so she could wrap her arms around my neck, presenting me with the vista of her tanned breasts and beautiful face. She opened her mouth like she was going to speak, then suddenly realized something was pressing against her thigh. Her face went even redder. “What the heck is that…?”

“It’s because you’re so cute.”

Eris merely hummed in return, and ground her thighs against the head of my little man. It was a soft and pleasant sensation. My little man was overjoyed, and his father (me) was growing short of breath.

“This means you’re turned on right now?” she asked.

“Yeah.”

“So you don’t dislike me, right?”

“Nope.”

“Are you worried about my father and grandfather?”

“Yeah.”

“Rudeus, you’ve been giving me a naughty look this entire time.”

“Yeah.”

“But you’re still going to refuse me?”

“…Yeah.” I nodded finally.

Gözlerimi boynunun dibine, göğsüne dikmiştim. Yumuşak uylukları, göğsünün bana bastırılması ve nefes alırken ciğerlerimi dolduran kokusuyla bedenimi zaten ele geçirmişti. Kuyruğunu sallayan bir köpek gibiydim. Ama içimde kalan son akıl kırıntılarını toparlayıp, "Söz sözdür, değil mi? On beş yaşıma gelene kadar bekleyeceğimize söz vermiştik," dedim.

Bir an için, açıkçası, o söz benim için hiçbir şey ifade etmiyordu. Kendimi neden frenlediğimden ben bile tam olarak emin değildim.

Sözlerime karşılık Eris sadece hıhladı. Nefesi yanağımı okşadı.

Derin bir nefes alarak, "Hey, Rudeus. Annem bana bunu öğretmişti, ama utanç verici olduğu ve artık kullanmam yasaklandığı için sadece bir kez söyleyeceğim," dedi. Yüzünü kulağıma yaklaştırdı.

Ardından, o kadar yumuşak ve tatlı bir tonda birkaç kelime döküldü ki, sanki yasak bir mühür çözülmüş gibiydi: "Rudeus, senin küçük kediciğin olmak istiyorum. Miyav~"

Bu sözler kulağımdan içeri süzülüp basit zihnime sızdı, beni teslim olmaktan alıkoyan son akıl kırıntılarını söndürdü. Eris bir köpekti. Son kelimesi 'miyav' olsa bile, vahşi bir köpek.

O sözlere karşılık ben de bir canavara dönüştüm. İçgüdülerinin esiri olmuş, Eris'i yatağa iten bir yaratık.