Bölüm 16

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My classical literature notebook was mostly empty; I didn’t usually take a lot of notes.But now it was full of my thoughts.

I was sure I’d be puzzled at why I even wrote all that once the heat of the moment passed.

Soon it was morning, and I kept holding that pencil until it was noon, and before I realized it, Mana came back with dinner.

I was writing what would surely come to be categorized as a dark past I wouldn’t want to look back at, but that was fine.I’d had no dark or light up to then—I had nothing.

I had no plans for the next day, so I just wrote in my notebook the whole time, spitting out everything I had thought of.

“Bubby, you seem a bit on edge… What’s going on?”Mana tilted her head, chopsticks in her mouth.

“Nothing.”

“Ah!It’s your rebellious phase!”

“Shut up!”

Just trying to dodge a question doesn’t make me an edgy teenager—come on.

I finished dinner, took a shower, and went back to my room to continue writing in my notebook.

Once it was entirely full (of which only ten pages were about classical literature), I read it over again.

It was full of cringey content, to be quite honest.There was no rhymeor reason to my writing.It was bitter and embarrassing.Undecipherable even to me.

But I felt a consistent passion in those words.

It took no time for me to wish to turn it into a film.

I could understand now why Fushimi kept her goal to become an actress a secret.

“Hard at work, I see, Ryo-Ryo!”

Filming ended before noon, and I had gone to my afternoon part-time job.Mr.Matsuda was just returning to his office, bag in hand.

“Hello, Mr.Matsuda.”

He had gone from calling me Ryou to the nickname Rio, and now, somehow, Ryo-Ryo.

“Oof, today was a long day!”He sighed before plopping down in his chair and reclining it all the way back.

He was deliberately doing all that in the hopes that I’d ask what happened.

I thought he should say whatever he wanted to say himself, instead of trying to get me to ask him about it.

I felt he was too good-looking for that sort of personality.

“Sure is, huh,” I replied mechanically.

Mr.Matsuda sat up and said, “Gosh, Ryo-Ryo, you’re so cold!”

“Did something happen, sir?”I succumbed.

His plans for that morning included a meeting with a video production company for a commercial.

I had been asked to answer calls on top of emails and messages, so I was starting to know his entire schedule.

“Their director just doesn’t understand.The man doesn’t get it.”

“That must have been tough.”

“It made me wish it was you directing instead.”

“Huh?”That caught me off-guard.

“I’m kidding.”

“Y-yeah…”

A staff member brought him barley tea, and he gulped it down in one go.

“Aika told me your film’s going great.”

“Yes, all thanks to you.I know how to use the camera well now, and it has been of great help.”

“Oh, no need to thank me.In fact, I should be thanking you for everything.”

That thing about me positively influencing Himeji?

I still couldn’t believe that; she was already very positive from the moment we met again.

“How are things going with her audition, by the way?”

“Mm, wanna know?”

“I suppose.She told me about it, but I don’t want to ask her directly in case she didn’t do well.”

“I understand.She’s been doing well.I knew that girl had it in her.”Good.Hopefully she does get into that musical.“She just has to pass the fourth screening and…”

“Wait, fourth?”

I’d heard of a similar system recently.

“Something wrong?”

“That audition’s the sort of thing professionals apply to, right?”

“Well, professionals attached to an agency are seeded, if we’re to use sports terminology—they start from the second round.But people in general can apply from the first stage, and sometimes they end up going all the way to the final screening.Thing is, though, ninety-nine percent of the people drop out at the documentation stage.”

So amateurs are also allowed…and their documents are reviewed…

“Are there other similar auditions going on?”

“What’s up today?You’re quite interested, huh.”Mr.Matsuda opened his eyes wide.“For auditions where they’re looking for a woman in her teens with acting and singing chops to play the lead role, then there’s only that one this summer.”

Then the audition Fushimi was talking about is…

“And she’s so fired up right now.I hope she makes it past the last screening.She still isn’t entirely up to par in acting, but still.”

I wasn’t even listening by that point.

I had received a text from Fushimi just ten minutes before Mr.Matsuda came back, saying,I passed the third screening!Let’s goooooooo!Time for the last one!!!

I felt someone tap my shoulder.I turned around and saw Deguchi pointing with his chin.

Oh, right.

I hurriedly stopped recording.

“Okay!”I said.

Deguchi clapped in lieu of a clapperboard.

“He says it’s good.You can rest now.”

“Got it!”Fushimi replied to Deguchi’s voice.

We were shooting a scene in the classroom, but I was lost in thought about what I’d found out the other day.

I’d replied back to Fushimi, telling hercongratulationsandgood luck, but…neither of them knew about the other, huh?

“Ai, compared to when we practiced, let’s try keeping some more distance between us as we speak, okay?”

“Why?You don’t want me near you?”

“Gosh!No, it’s for the scene!”

“…Can we practice that first?”

“Hee-hee.I knew you’d do it.”

“Enough teasing—let’s just start already.”

Just as Mr.Matsuda had said, Himeji’s acting was still lacking when compared to Fushimi’s.

But she knew that.Which was why she accepted Fushimi’s advice.

After all, Fushimi was going to acting school.Himeji had said she was also taking voice training lessons at some studio, but it was mainly for the purposes of her audition.

Both of them wanted my support.I couldn’t just side with either of them.I wished them both good luck.

But considering it was for the lead role, naturally only one of them could win.Though I’d heard that two people could get the same role depending on the number of shows.

Fushimi had told me the date for her last screening, and it aligned with the day for Himeji’s that I’d heard from Mr.Matsuda.

They would likely bump into each other at the venue.

I got anxious all of a sudden…but why?

I guess they could both fail, too.I shouldn’t worry too much about it.

That scene we just shot was the last one for today.

The classmates we rounded up as extras all said good-bye, citing their empty stomachs.

Himeji said she had plans (probably the voice training), and Fushimi said she had acting lessons, so only Deguchi, Torigoe, and I remained.

“Wanna go grab a bite somewhere?”Deguchi asked.

We went to the convenience store for some food and brought it to the cafeteria that was still open to eat.I got rice balls.

“How’s production going?We nearly done?”

“Filming is nearly done.”

“Nice!”Deguchi exclaimed.

Torigoe drank her juice while shaking her head.She took her mouth off the straw and said, “But Takamori still has to edit, add music, and all that.”

“…Wha—?So you gotta work more than anyone else, Takayan?”I suppose.“Then what’s the progress like, in general?”

“I’d say we’re, um, halfway through?”

“Oof… Are we…really gonna make it?”

Torigoe answered in my stead, with full confidence, “We will.He will.”

At least let me say that.

“Good luck, then, Takayan.”

“Thanks,” I said flatly.

“Oh, also, what aboutthat?”

“Right.That.” I immediately knew what he was talking about.

“What do you mean?”Torigoe asked, confused.

“Remember how we went to the beach with everyone?Since I got footage of us, I was thinking of making a video with it.”

Torigoe’s eyes turned cold and lifeless as she heard my answer.

“You’re making a video of everyone in swimsuits?”

I knew this would happen.This is why I didn’t want to do it.

“No, no, no, Torigoe, this is about preserving our memories.A video album of our youth.We will look back on it years later in nostalgia.We’ll look back on the past over some drinks and stuff,” Deguchi hurriedly explained.

You and I both know that’s not your real aim.

“I was also thinking I wanted a video of it, but just picturing Takamori combing through the clips while editing all alone…” Her voice trailed off.

“I don’t think you have to worry that much.You were wearing that hoodie the whole time.And I will hold that against you for the rest of my life.”

Who do you think you are, man?

“I can’t expose myself in front of Himeji and ManaMana…”

So you don’t want to be compared to them, huh.And you just implied you didn’t care about being compared to Fushimi, huh.

“Fret not!I can say with full confidence that what you have is perfectly—”

“Shut up, idiot.You walking lump of sexual harassment.”I cut him short.

“But look at those legs, dude!”

“Just shut up, please.”

I totally agree, though.

Torigoe choked up.

“Uh, so, anyway.I assure you, I’m not going to do anything weird, Torigoe.I’m just gonna put the clips together.”

“Okay.Fine, then.”

Permission granted.

We couldn’t even bring the topic up without Deguchi getting weird about it, geez.

The guy then said he had plans for the evening and left right after finishing his lunch.

Torigoe only bought a juice.I asked if that was enough for her, and she simply answered that she was feeling fatigued from the heat.

I had never experienced heat exhaustion, so I wasn’t sure how concerning that was.She explained eating would only make her feel worse, which only made me more confused.

Just as Torigoe was close to finishing her juice, we ran out of topics to discuss.So I asked her something that had been on my mind the whole time.

“Hey, Torigoe, I want you to do me a favor.”

“Hmm?”

“Would you star in my film?”

“Wha—?”Torigoe blinked.

I explained further.“Not the movie we’re making for school.A personal film of mine.”

“…” She stayed frozen in disbelief for a few seconds before saying, “No.”

I knew that would happen.She wasn’t the kind of person to happily agree to such a request.

“Why ask me?You have Hiina and Himeji.”

“You’re the best choice for the character.”

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“Me?”

I nodded.

I had organized all the messy ideas I wrote down in my notebook and mimicked what Torigoe did to make a screenplay of my own.The protagonist turned out to be a perfect fit for Torigoe.Fushimi, Himeji, or Mana wouldn’t have worked.

I’d thought about asking Mr.Matsuda if he knew someone, but I felt too shy to ask an actual professional attached to an agency to work with me.

Torigoe didn’t say yes even after I explained all this.

“I seriously can’t do it.I’m not half as good as Himeji.”

“I see…”

I mean, I figured Fushimi could still play the part, since she had the acting skills, but I was sure she couldn’t empathize with the actual character.

Torigoe was just perfect for it… But, well, I can’t force her…

“Okay, then how about…”

She couldn’t bear to see me troubled anymore and suggested:

“…you try to w-woo me?”

“What?”

“T-try to woo me into wanting to do it.”

I see—she wants me to show just how passionate I am about the project.

“Also, did you tell Hiina about this?”

“Nope.”

“Tell her.”

“Why?It’s just a personal project of mine.”

“If I end up saying yes, I want it to be under fair conditions.”

Fair conditions?

I repeated the phrase in my mind.I didn’t get it.

“What’s it about?I never thought you’d ask me something like this, so I’m curious.”

“It’s hard to explain, but, um…”

I wasn’t sure I explained it well; I feared I wasn’t getting my idea across.

Yet Torigoe listened attentively, sometimes asking me questions.It was like we switched places from when she had been creating the film for the school festival.

“That sounds good.”

“Y-you think?”

It felt like the soft light of salvation was shining upon my bundle of weaknesses, and embarrassment.

“Yes, I like it.”

“W-wow.Thank you.”

I sighed in relief, and she smiled.

“So…do your best trying to woo me.”

I had no idea how I was supposed to “woo her.”I tried looking it up online, but none of the results seemed useful to me.I just had to approach her and figure it out for myself.

However, due to scheduling issues, we had to pause filming for a week.

We had no reasons to meet up; I just called her on the phone sometimes to talk about my film.

I didn’t feel as anxious about talking to her after she’d said she liked the story.That was a huge relief.

“You’re amazing, Torigoe,” I said once there was a pause in our conversation; I felt like my worries were swept away.

“Huh?Why?”

“You’re just easy to talk to.”

“…Um… Uh… You think?”Her voice lowered.“I didn’t expect you to go for that route in trying to woo me.”

“Huh?”

“Nothing, forget it.”

Our calls mostly went like that.

Then I told her Fushimi would be coming over to do homework the next day, and she said, “I’m good.Thanks for inviting me, though.”

It was the day of the audition.

Fushimi and I were heading to the venue.We had to transfer trains many times on the way.

“You doing well, Fushimi?”

“Yes.I’ll be fine.”

“Okay.”

I was nervous.

I kept my phone in my hand, looking at it, then putting it back in my pocket before taking it out again and checking if I had any notifications.

“…You don’t seem to be doing well, though.”She giggled.

“I’m just nervous.”

“Whoa!For me?”

“I don’t get it myself.”

“Okay?”She beamed.

She wasn’t mentioning Himeji.Nor was the latter mentioning the former.

They really didn’t know.They had no idea that the other was taking the final test for the same audition.

Himeji wasn’t talking about the audition at all, in fact.I knew she passed the earlier rounds only thanks to Mr.Matsuda.It was no surprise, considering how obstinate and prideful she was.She probably thought she’d end up ridiculed if she failed in the end.

We got off at our destination, and Fushimi led me to the venue while checking her phone for directions.

She was holding a parasol, so it felt cool on our walk there.

“It’s only twelve of us for this last audition.Crazy, right?”she said in a casual tone.

It sounded like she didn’t expect to have gotten this far.

“I thought I wouldn’t be able to sleep last night, but that wasn’t the case at all.Ha-ha-ha.”She looked strangely cheerful and was more talkative than on our way to and from school.“Sorry for making you come all the way here on such a hot day.My dad was supposed to come, but it turned out he had to work.I guess I could’ve come by myself, but, well…”

“You’d be too distracted that way?”

“Huh?”

“Oh, nothing.”I took out a bottle of water I’d bought at a convenience store on the way.I opened it up and passed it to her.“You thirsty?”

“Oh, thanks.”She took two sips, then exhaled deeply.

We walked through an unfamiliar business district, then through a small side street.Who wouldn’t feel anxious in such a secluded part of an unknown location?

We stopped before a very normal-looking building.The windows strongly reflected the sun’s light.

“The studio’s on the third floor.”Fushimi stared at the third floor of the building, as did I.

She took a deep breath.She had to be way more nervous than I was.

“Oh, your water.”She handed it back, but I shook my head.

“Take it with you.You didn’t buy anything for yourself.”

“Right.Okay, thank you.It’s time, then.”She waved before entering the building.

Now I had to kill time around here until they finished.But just as I was thinking that, I heard a familiar voice.

“Ryou…?”

“Hmm?Oh, Himeji.”

Of course she’d arrive at around the same time.

Mr.Matsuda was with her, too.

“Why are you here?”

“I, uh, um…” What could I say?She really didn’t know about Fushimi.

“You looked up the venue for the audition and came all the way here… Seems like you’re a natural stalker, Ryou.”

“I’m not!”

Mr.Matsuda cleared his throat.“I asked Ryo-Ryo to come here to surprise you.”

No you didn’t?!

“Really?!”Himeji turned around to look at him, then immediately turned back to me.

I narrowed my eyes, staring at the liar; he mouthed to just go with it, then winked.

“Uh, yeah, pretty much.”

Himeji’s stiff expression softened in absolute joy.

But then she immediately shook her head.

“Thank you for coming on such a hot day.I, I did tell you to root for me, but I didn’t expect you to come all the way here.I’m so glad…errr…no, I…”

“Break a leg, Himeji.”

“I—I don’t need your good luck!I’m going to crush that audition!”she said before going in.

Mr.Matsuda sighed in relief once she was out of sight.

“Good job, Ryo-Ryo.Well done.”

Mr.Matsuda and I went to a nearby café.We sat across from each other at the table.

We each ordered an iced coffee.

He sighed before saying, “I felt she wasn’t doing so well today…but then she got fired up the moment she saw you.”

“Oh, so that’s why you told me good job.”

“Yup.”

They had come here together from the office, and she was restless the whole way.Mr.Matsuda was worried sick.

“She was like a bunny shivering before a wolf.”

“That’s surprising.I thought she’d be used to this sort of thing, considering her experience as an idol.”

“I’m sure she wouldn’t be worried about an audition in that line of work, but it is her first time for this kind of job, and she’s been working hard for it.”He stirred the coffee with his straw, the ice clinking against one another.“But then the little bunny turned into a woman the moment she saw you.I was shocked.”

“I’m shocked about you lying to her.”

“By the way, why are you here, really?I don’t imagine you were actually waiting for her.”

“Oh… Well, you see…” I finally explained why I had been asking him so much about Himeji’s progress.

“Oh, so you came with your childhood friend?”

“Yeah.”

“And she’s an amateur…?No agency?”

“I don’t think so, no.”

“Oh my.It’s that girl I’ve been hearing about.Everyone’s talking about the newbie.”

Mr.Matsuda had told me 99 percent of applicants fail at the firststage.It was beyond rare for someone starting from the bottom to climb all the way to the top.

She’s quite something…

“Childhood friends and classmates, huh… I see,” Mr.Matsuda muttered while looking in the direction of the venue.

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